How to Survive a Final Destination Film
If you think about it logically
it is not possible to survive a Final Destination film. In the Final
Destination series the antagonist is not a machete wielding psychopath or a deranged
child killer. In these films the villain is Death himself and everyone knows
that the two things that cannot be avoided are death and taxes. Unless of
course you are Mitt Romney, who can avoid one of them.
Final Destination 2
At the end of Final Destination 2
there are survivors. Kimberly (A.J. Cook) survives to the end of the film by
failing to drown herself in an ambulance. As a method of survival this is not
recommended. As she has to be revived by the doctor it can be argued that the
only way that she manages to be alive at the end is by dying and coming back
again. As all those who have died trying autoerotic asphyxiation are unable to
testify, this is a tricky thing to get right.
The lesson that can be learned
from Final Destination 2 is that surviving one film does not guarantee that you
will survive the next. Clear Rivers (Ali Larter) is still alive at the end of
Final Destination. Her continued existence in the sequel derives from complete
isolation. In Final Destination 2 she is seen voluntarily living in the padded
cell of a mental institution where no sharp implements or hazardous substances
can get at her. Of course she then decides to leave her sanctuary in order to
help her friends and as a result dies in an explosion of oxygen.
What Clear’s demise ultimately
proves is that Death can be postponed but never avoided. Having made it safely to
the end credits Kimberly’s death is announced in a newspaper clipping in a
later film. She is killed alongside
fellow survivor Thomas Burke (Michael Landes) thus proving that Death doesn’t
like loose ends.
Words of Advice From The Candyman
There is one minor character that
manages continual existence throughout that Final Destination franchise. This
is of course Mr. Bludworth the creepy coroner played by Tony Todd. His role is
unclear. There are those who view him as the manifestation of Death himself.
Others see him as a wise man and prophesier. While yet another group think that
he is just a creepy weirdo who gets a little more camp as the films go on.
What ever he is he is not to be
trusted. In Final Destination 5 he tells the survivors that the way to cheat Death
is to give him another victim. The logic says that Death was due a life and he
doesn’t care which one he gets as long as his figures balance. This is not the
case.
The result of Bludworth’s advice
is that one of the characters turns homicidal and the remaining protagonists are
so busy basking in their newly won life that they never stop to review the
vision in any great detail. If they had they would have remembered that they
both survived the bridge falling and that Death wasn’t after them because of
that. This may have caused the hero to react a little quicker when he heard the
strains of Dust in the Wind and they may have survived the plane.
Therefore when finding yourself
in a Final Destination movie Mr Bludworth should be viewed as nothing more than
an interesting plot device. He is there to move the story along and not as a
cheat key for survival.
Death Always Wins
The only way to survive a Final Destination
film is for it to be ordained. If you were meant to survive the initial
accident then you will still be alive when the credits roll. As seen at the end
of both the fourth and the fifth films this will not save you from being the
victim of a later accident but considering that all of your friends have
already died in a variety of horrible ways you may see this as form of reunion.
If Death has marked your card
then you will die. Death cannot be bargained with. There are no games of chess
in the Final Destination films. If you were meant to die in the accident then
you will die. There is no cheating Death.
However when finding yourself in
one of these films you may take comfort from the fact that everyone is going to
die eventually. Even the minor ancillary characters are going to come up
against the reaper in the end. You at least know that your death will be quick
and it will be soon. Enjoy the life you have because it is precious and will
shortly be at an end.
The Deaths of Kim and Thomas are non canon.
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